'That's been noted'. 'Yep, that's noted as well'. 'OK, I will take that into account- it's been noted.'
Relax, our three months of hyper-festival activity haven't taken a toll on us and deteriorated our journalistic quality, although the bitter twisted amongst you would point out that our poor reviews commenced back in May with our feedback from the Evolution Weekender. No, the opening sentence to this year Bestival report traces us back a year when we interviewed Rob Da Bank, the festival's creator, and brought to his attention accessibly issues which we thought required a slight adjustment.
The three main points were that the disabled campsite was at the top of a steep hill, the special needs platform for the main stage was difficult to reach and there were no disabled facilities in the Big Top. The trouble was in 2009 the festival's lay-out was given such an impressive make-over you would had been forgiven thinking that they had the team of BBC Changing Rooms working their arses off throughout the winter around Robin Hill Country Park.
Would 2010 see yet another transformation? Well, yes - actually it would. The main stage has done a dosey doe with the Big Top, a new area called 'Tomorrows World' has laid the future foundations for the festival and the disabled facilities have changed dramatically.
The disabled campsite is well signposted from the roads which leads guests to the bottom of the hill, although the area is still a little walk from the main arena. Those who can fork out for a Tee-Pee in the Boutique campsite have a prime location - in an ideal cripple world the disabled campsite would be found here, although the current spot is a peaceful tranquilised area with 3 loos for wheelchair users, 5 ordinary toilets and 3 showers. The organisers have done pretty well avoiding the sites biggest handicap - the bloody big hill which dominates the site itself as disabled guests no longer have to conquer a mountaineer’s journey back to their tents.
Oh by the way, our review comes from the Saturday which sadly means we missed Mercury Prize winners, The XX play the Big Top Friday evening. However our weekend staffs tells us that thanks to Oliver, Jamie & Romy being a few hundred grand better off their rise in popularity saw many disappointed fans unable to fight their way into the tent.
One band which didn't have this problem was Cornershop, probably because they were a One hit wonder back in 1997 and the lack of publicity surrounding their admiral comeback will see the band members working in an actual 'corner shop' before too long. There are no Brimful Of Ashes wonders in their new material although hidden gems such as Sleep On The Left Side pinpoints the time when their short-lived career declined to oblivion.
The Big Top itself had one major flaw; once again there was no disabled platform which was an immense shame. We know the organisers take feedback seriously so guys; please can this be rectified for 2011?
The disabled platform over at the main stage however was bloody ideal. The organisers must have taken our advice as the viewing platform was positioned stage left giving a superb view. The area was secured thanks to two security guards who ensured those with only disabled wristbands were permitted access. There were ample of chairs and the disabled loo was only a few hobbled walks away, although allowing able-bodied women to spend a penny wasn't the ideal decision made discreet security staff.
To our dismay none of the wheelchair guests opted for fancy dress, this was Saturday at Bestival after all! Seeing as this year’s theme was 'Fantasy' the disabled posse could have come in some form of fictional character, for example - Davros, leader of the Darleks!
In the crowd we spotted some amazing outfits, 20 Gingerbread men, a pink Chinese-style Dragon (which collected empty cans whilst being 'manoeuvred' around the site), Shrek, and even a singing teddy bear. No, wait - that beautiful creature with cub ears? That's Ellie 'I will perform at every bloody festival this year' Goulding. You see even the performers participate in the fancy dress theme, following Ellie we had the three musketeers, more commonly known to us common folk as Mumford & Sons, the forth member (Ted) bizarrely dressing up as a Bo-Selecta Michael Jackson.
Marcus Mumford was later spotted on stage beside us dancing away with The Flaming Lips. Yes, that's right our final review from this years 'View From The Platform' sees us on stage right next to Wayne Coyne and co. The headliners gave a carnival-themed performance with streamers, a human inflatable ball, lasers and their infamous big polystyrene hands.
As we were coming off stage we bumped into Rob Da Bank who gave us a friendly hug and asked if we needed another interview. We spared him the grilling for this year. Although Rob, if you are reading this allow us to tell you just one small thing - Bestival is the perfect end to the summer festivals - It has been noted!
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