Meghan Markle has told Oprah Winfrey she was told not to seek professional help by the royal family when experiencing suicidal thoughts and suffering from mental health.
In a revealing interview, televised in the UK tonight, the Duchess of Sussex spoke candidly about the pressure she was under and how senior royals failed to give her support.
Meghan said: “I just didn’t want to be alive anymore.
And that was a very clear and real and frightening constant thought. And I remember — I remember how he just cradled me.”
Meghan went on to reveal a senior member of the royal family told her it “wouldn’t be good for the institution” when she asked if she could reach out for support.
Being denied professional help she spoke to a friend of Princess Diana.
“Yes, this was very clear and very scary,” said Meghan. “I did not know who to turn to. One of the people I reached out to, who has been a friend and a confidante, was one of Diana’s best friends. Who else could understand what it is actually like on the inside.”
After joining the royal family Meghan said she had to hand over her driver’s license, passport and keys.
She said: “I couldn’t, you know, call an Uber to the palace.”
Recounting a distressing evening in 2018 Meghan recalled crying in the royal box at the Royal Albert Hall, she attended the event with Harry because of concerns what would have happened if left alone at the Palace.
In the interview Meghan tells Oprah her thoughts scare her “in the middle of the night,” adding, “This isn’t some abstract idea. This is methodical, and this is not who I am.”
Later on Oprah asks Harry how he reacted when Meghan told him of her suicidal thoughts, he replies he was “ashamed” of telling his family.
“I had no idea what to do. I was terrified, I was not prepared for that, I went to a dark place as well,” said Harry.
“I wanted to be there for her, I was terrified.”
When asked if he spoke to the royal family about Meghan’s mental health Harry replies: “No, that was not a conversation that would be had. I guess I was ashamed of admitting it to them. I don’t know whether they’ve had the same feelings or thoughts. It is a very trapping environment they are stuck in.
“The family have a mentality of, ‘This is how it is, you can’t change it, we’ve all been through it.’ But what was different here was the race element. That triggered the conversations with my family and palace staff where I said: ‘This is not going to end well.’”
Oprah with Meghan and Harry is on ITV tonight, Monday March 8 at 9pm and available afterwards on the ITV Hub.
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