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Jackson discusses her suicide attempts

Paris Jackson speaking to willow smith on a couch
Paris Jackson speaking to willow smith on a couch Image credit: edition.cnn.com

Paris Jackson has spoken about her past suicide attempts in an interview with Willow Smith.

In a new episode of Red Table Talk Takeover hosted by Will Smith’s daughter Willow, the two friends discussed the turbulent times Paris suffered growing up.

Jackson has previously revealed she tried to take her own life on numerous occasions, the last being in 2013.

Her famous father Michael Jackson died of acute propofol and benzodiazepine intoxication at his home on North Carolwood Drive in the Holmby Hills in 2009.

Jackson told Willow: “A lot of people do feel regret when they try and attempt suicide,” she said. “There have been times where I did and times where I didn’t, where I was upset that it didn’t work.

“But I can say, several years later, that I’m really grateful that it didn’t. Things have gotten better.”

When asked what made her want to take her own life, Jackson replied: “I think it was everything, man. I think a lot of it was just not knowing who I was, being a young girl who was going through puberty and probably just a lot of my situation and a lot of pressure. It was really hard.”

Paris went on to say cyberbullying had a part to play in her suicide attempts.  “People would tell me to kill myself every day, and I was depressed,” she said.

“[I was] just like, ‘OK, I’ve tried and tried and tried, and it’s really not working. Maybe it’s just not my time, and that sucks,'” Jackson added. “And for a while, I was just like, ‘I’ll just wait it out’, which is so dark.” 

Explaining what made her stop the suicidal attempts, she said: “Initially I think it was – it’s kind of morbid – the radical acceptance that it just wasn’t meant to be.

“So it’s just a radical acceptance of, ‘When it’s my time, it will be my time,’ and I’ll wait it out till then. And during that waiting time, I’ve just found more and more joys in life and more ways to cope and more ways to like, really live instead of just exist.”

Going on to reveal she gave herself a pep talk when things became tough Jackson said:  “I experienced self-love for the first time in my entire life.

“It was this really corny moment between me, myself, and the mirror… It was so intense. Just a lot of gratitude. It took a really long time to get to that point.”

For advice and support with your mental health visit the Mind website.