Remember your teenage years? You were probably off bunking school, causing mayhem in car park until the early hours or snogging a one night stand in the back seat of a cinema. That is what teenage years are all about, enjoying yourself, ending up in trouble and getting through as many Durex packets as you can! For some teenagers, the years aren't so grand. How does daily visits to the hospital, being pumped with Chemotherapy and fighting a life threatening illness sound?

By the age of 15 you have a 1 in 600 chance of developing cancer. By the age of 24 you will have had a 1 in 285 chance of developing cancer.

The Royal Albert Hall is home to the Teenage Cancer Trust week of live entertainment and for a second year running ABLE2UK is proud to bring you a full AAA report from an incredible six nights which will raise money to build special hospitals to treat teenagers fighting Cancer, more about that later. For the time being, read our in-depth review - we were everywhere!

MONDAY - RICKY GERVAIS AND FRIENDS

Theoretically this review should begin along the lines that The Albert Hall was packed to compactly and the venue was crowded with guests waiting for a top evening of class comedy. But it wasn't. The hall was empty. Not a single punter inside. This wasn't because of poor ticket sales, oh no - the night was a sell out. The cause of the issue was thanks to a burst water pipe in Kensington. The Albert Hall didn't have a drop of water inside and for health & Safety measures this was a drastic time. The timing of this shambles matched the time printed on the tickets for doors to open. Thankfully the fire engines outside meant that an emergency call made minutes ago meant that hose pipes fulfilled the drought of water and within a few nail biting minutes the Albert Hall was a washed with well, water!
Tonight was comedy night and the lineup was a Jongleurs manager's dream come true. Well known faces alongside those immediately crossing the fickle borderline of Stand Up circuit into mainstream comedy gave the audience a night of sheer laughter and jokes to be repeated down the pub this weekend. Compared by ex heroin addict/ Big Brother Big Mouth presenter, Russell Brand the comedians included Saturate Lee, who was the only victim to one heckle, Lee Mack, Sean Lock and two well known faces. Friday Night Project's Alan Carr and the king of comedy, Ricky Gervais.
It doesn't take a dead hyena to guess who stole the show. Gervais was on top form and giving his usual controversial jokes which, of course tonight, included Cancer. Alan Carr, when given a stage, knows how to work his audience. He has progressed a bucketload since his days of a warm-up guy for Friday Night With Jonathan Ross when a padded out ten minutes before the chat show favorite emerged was as funny as sitting through a whole edition of Parkinson! The camp, funny and in a 'queer' kind of way, lovable comedian was very entertaining on and off stage as we manage to meet the rising star in the green room backstage.
One of the great things about Alan is that he is brutally honest and will answer nearly any question asked. So we decided to find out his worse CO-host from the current series of the Friday Night Project and he didn't need time to think.
"Michael Barrymore, he was rude and took a swipe at me and it bloody hurt" Admittingly it was all in the script, but Barrymore actually took it a bit extreme and was a pain all day! Lets hope Carr stays in tact for the new series when it returns later in the year.
Another comedian who was hurt was Stuart Lee, this was the poor represent of the heckler we mentioned earlier. On stage Lee was telling a tale about how great swearing was and how we should all do it. So one member of the audience shouted out 'Bollocks!'. Talking to Stu afterwards he told us that it didn't bother him and actually gave credit to the heckler. So do we in fact!
We also had a chat with Gervais himself. Slouched on a comfy chair backstage he told us that Extras returns soon, but despite rumors he hadn't managed to rope in Brad Pitt or Guy Richie, both of which he asked personally at LIVE8 last year. Gervais opened his act by asking the audience if they knew where Hitler's second testicle was in the Albert Hall. Look, you had to be there to find it funny, OK?
The audience were in hysterics and were in so much tears of laughter there was no chance of another water shortage in the Albert Hall for the next few years!

That wasn't the end of the list of comedians that night though. After the show we managed to track down Johnny Vegas who was a guest and was watching the evening shenanigans from a box. The great thing about Johnny is that he is exactly the same off the telly! He never stops laying into people and is a bundle of laughs and leaves himself wide open for abuse. The best way to describe him is that he's the fat kid at school which was always bullied, but loved at the same time from others. Mind you, the fat kid at our school wasn't loved by anyone, because she was too fat - but that's another story. Vegas told us that he wasn't ready for a tour and being part of the lineup, he even hinted that he has lost his nerves, but we certainly disagree and fingers crossed he will be on the stage next year where he truly belongs.

1 in 330 boys and 1 in 420 girls will contract cancer before their 20th birthday.

TUESDAY - GOLDFRAPP, ANTONY & THE JOHNSONS, STARSAILOR, GLA

It was Martin who started it all off, Chris Martin. 'Make Trade Fair', cryptic messages to Gwenth and two black lines all could be spotted on his hands throughout live concerts and TV appearances. Tonight Virgin Radio DJ and compare, Steve Harris had three letters written on his hand. GLA. They were the first band tonight and are heading towards a very bright future. The band are also giving a great donation to the Teenage Cancer Trust by releasing their debut single through supermarkets next month and giving all the profit to the charity. Their aim is to raise a million pounds and we wish them the very best of luck.
Starsailor can be compared to the quiet kid at school. You know he's there, does no harm but if he played truant nobody would probably notice. They are a very good average band although James monotone voice between their numbers does him no favors, especially when he attempts to be funny. It's a shame as a large percent of their numbers deserve more recognition and new single, 'In The Crossfire' is also another number which deserves a listen. It's just a shame they aren't, how can we put it? - original!
Original certainly describes Antony and The Johnsons, not since Boy George debuted on Top Of The Pops has been difficult to define a singers sex. The bloke who scooped a Mercury Award received the loudest applause with his harmonic tunes despite forgetting some words and having three attempts hitting the correct opening notes on a song. Backstage he was as nervous as a homophobic in a gay bar, but afterwards he was as happy as um, a gay with a suitcase full of Poppers! He is the trendy act to listen to at the moment and has able to bring his identity into the mainstream. His makeup needs a bit of a improvement though!
Have you ever heard of a horse gone missing? No, neither had we until Alison Goldfrapp brought the crime to our attention. The fans among you will be familiar with the bands backing dancers who dress up in animal costumes. Tonight they must have felt half naked as an European flight ended in a minor disaster when a suitcase was lost containing the bands' outfits. Luckily they managed to quickly replace the heads, but enough of the scenery. The hour set was enjoyable, but is the Albert Hall the best venue for a band of this nature? The crowd didn't seem to participate as one would had hoped and the hour set seemed to have something missing as well as hoofs and tails.

THE AFTER SHOW PARTY

The Embassy Club was the chosen location, yet again, for the official TCT party this year. We met the webmasters from the Teenage Cancer Trust website - and gave them some tips! and partied the night away downstairs with the core staff behind the great event. Sponsors Virgin Radio were the party animals and the free drinks helped raised people's spirits until 3.30am.

Six teenagers are diagnosed with Cancer in the UK every day. Cancer is the most common cause of non-accidental death in teens and young adults in the UK.

WEDNESDAY - BLOC PARTY, BIFFY CLYRO, MYSTERY JETS

There is nothing more fulfilling for a journalist when they hear a bit of exclusive news. Be it something mayor such as an African version of Live8 in Hyde Park is planned for 2007 (wink, wink!) or a tiny titbit about a celebrity having a new haircut, it doesn't matter - it's something to fill the pages. Think about it for a sec, we have to review about ten sets during this report and trying to pan our page out with new and original stuff can be quite difficult. Instead of writing band A came on stage, were pretty good/ crap played a couple of songs then buggered off we want it to be interesting and informative. Every other newshound was watching the same show. So we felt over the moon when we caught a chat with Bloc Party's Kele before the show and he told us that he was bloody nervous. Apparently he played at the Albert Hall before when he was about ten, he was in a school performance of Casablanca and was dressed as an animal in the background. There we had it, maybe not the best scoop in the world of the music industry, but useless stuff like this may had kept Smash Hits going for at least another fortnight! We knew something which no other reporter did!
The biggest mystery surrounding Mystery Jets is why the hell they have their father on board. Let's face it no matter how much you love your old man you don't really want to work with him do you? Still, it doesn't matter to us as the bands current album 'Making Dens' was sold to most of the audience on the night thanks to their satisfactory and enjoyable half hour on stage. Still a fairly unknown band they are destined to bigger things and play the Wireless festival this Summer. Lets just hope the father and son bond lasts long enough and we could be seeing them in Worthy farm next June.
'They’re classic tortoises in a world demanding hares. While many of their peers have risen and then sharply fallen casualty to the machinations of the music industry, their bloody-minded slowly-but-surely approach has led to one of the most intelligent, abrasive, poppy, idiosyncratic, downright magical albums to come out of this country in years.'
Not the words penned by ABLE2UK, but the Webmaster of Biffy Clyro's official site. Don't worry, we didn't understand a word of it either. We were hoping to be clever and give you some knowledge of the support band, which was incidentally praised to us from Kele, so we checked out their website which put a shine of light on our insecure hearts. Sorry, we are falling into Biffy's lingo, what we are trying to say is that their website is pants and ABLE2UK isn't as crap as we thought it was.
As for their performance? Well if their website matched it Webuser magazine would give it five stars and a standing aversion.
Bloc Party started the set amazingly, not customized to such a surrounding as the Albert Hall they tested out new songs from their forthcoming album and the experiment fell to a full gone conclusion that they have nothing to worry about. Half way through their set though something awful happened and we're not talking about the stage invasion from a fan. No, it was worse than that. Kele grabbed the mic and told the audience about his past experience playing the Albert Hall. He brought up Casablanca, the animal costumes - everything! Thanks a bunch!

THURSDAY - RAZORLIGHT, BOY KILL BOY, DOGS

Without barking on.. (No, there's not a hope you going to get away with that. Start again! - Editor) OK, here's the second attempt at explaining how good tonight's opening act, Dogs, were. Even though they had shed some light on their supporting slots on various tours last year they are still relatively unknown. Although sounding a tad like Editors they are seriously worth being taken off their lead and being unleashed into the charts and taking up some memory space on your iPods.
Boy Kill Boy isn't the most pleasant name for a band and to be honest they are something of nothing of nothing. It's a bit like when you were at Primary school and attempted to create something with cardboard cereal boxes and Pritt stik, took it home to your parents and they thought it was a pile of crap, but realised the effort which had gone into it. Good effort lads, but needs work!
If we had a pound for every time we have seen and reviewed Razorlight we would have, well about six quid. But if we had a pound for every time we have been blown away with their act we would have a fiver. Their appearance at last years Carling festival wasn't their best and with a bundle of new songs, new set and the same sweaty T shirts it was a small risk that the 'light may had dimmed. Luckily for Johnny, the band and the record label this wasn't the case. We were lucky to preview the new set a few months ago anyway when they played a secret gig in the grotty Portsmouth Wedgewood rooms unannounced. So we knew what to expect. Johnny is explosive on stage and could be slightly refereed to as a young and fit looking Iggy Pop in his stage presence. Happily though the band are on track to play bigger venues for the foreseeable future which is more that can be said for Iggy who is playing at Butlins later this year! (OK, so its a big concert but just allow us to look skeptical for once!)

THE AFTER SHOW PARTY

Another chance to grab some booze after a great evening. Tonight Razorlight hired out a downstairs suite/ room at the Albert Hall for their guests to avoid the crushing stampede of fans rushing out the venue and purchasing illegal T-shirts polluting the Kensington pavements outside. Jamie Oliver was among the guests, sadly he didn't pop in the kitchen to knock up some free canapés which was absent at the party. The tills were working as well so the term 'party' could be questioned. No wonder why Johnny didn't bother to make an appearance!

VIRGIN RADIO HOSPITALITY

Ever since it started few can argue that Virgin Radio has been at the core of live music. There sponsorship with festivals such as Isle Of Wright and V puts them way out in front of any competition. Their continue support to the TCT week manages to spread the awareness of the charity to millions thanks to their dedicated coverage. On two nights they treated guests to free drink and canapés on the Grand Tier Level with a VIP room.

In the last 30 years the incidence of cancer in the teenage and young adult group has increased by 50% and for the first time ever, the number of teens with cancer now exceeds the number of children with cancer.

FRIDAY - TOMMY VANCE TRIBUTE NIGHT

Come here, bit closer. Right, we're going to whisper something in your ear, but you can't tell a soul OK? 'We weren't looking forward to tonight.' The reason being was just because we aren't heavy metal fans and with Judas Priest headlining the lineup on first glance wasn't looking encouraging. The added fact that most of these acts are well before our time it seemed like we were going into the unknown and didn't know what to expect.
Bracing ourselves for a room of long hair, brain dead morons violently bashing their hands into thin air, two fingers raised and impersonating Beavis and Butthead on Ecstasy, we were surprised to find old blokes who were there 'just to enjoy the music' and probably recapturing their youth days of yesteryear.
Ian Gillion started the night off and we aren't going to pretend we know anything about him because quite frankly, we don't. Although he was in Deep Purple which is of course one of the most famous rock bands ever. If it had been Ozzy on stage we could had quite easily filled this paragraph with ease! Besides all you need to know is that he was pleasantly and surprisingly good and if Vance had been alive today he would had probably hired the front row to himself.
Of course, Vance wasn't in the front row. Because he's dead. Hence why this was billed as a tribute night! He was however on a screen in-between each act to remind us all just what a legend he was. Who are we trying to kid? Honest truth is that we never listened to him on the radio when he used to be on, mind you - we did meet him once at a BPI dinner and he was a very charming chap. That could had been his nature or the fact he had just been given an award. Anyway, who cares? He must had been some kind of legend for a night in his memory.
The Scorpions rocked out next and something amazing happened - we actually recognized a song! Yeah, maybe we have a secret piece of heavy metal hidden inside us, although seeing as it was the slushy 'Wind Of Change' maybe not! Again we enjoyed it, very much so in fact and debating to rush out first thing in the morning and place a weekly order for Kerrang magazine. But the real test was about to come, would we enjoy Judas Priest, the only knowledge we had was that they appeared on the first series of 'Rock School' with Gene Simmons!
So, lets get this right the normal gay musician either wins a Pop Idol competition and prances himself into the charts, shaves his head and becomes a gay right protester or wears a fag mustache, sleep around and dies a horrible death. But lets leave the Stereotype world behind us as the lead singer of Judas Priest is, actually gay. Of course this shouldn't matter one bit, but it has cunningly filled a good paragraph on a band we know sod all about. The Priest were great and with a motorbike and moving set on stage they were probably the most entertaining and indeed the loudest band of the week.
Come here, bit closer. We are going to whisper something else in your ear. 'We toughly enjoyed tonight even though it was deafening in places' we said WE THOROUGHLY ENJOYED TONIGHT EVEN...Oh forget it!

ROGER DALTERY SPEAKS TO ABLE2UK!

The glossy magazines are ideal for reading interviews from you favorite stars. The articles normally start along the lines of 'We are sitting in the suite of the Dorchester Hotel..' or 'Jetting off to LA for this interview..' all the meetings are pre arranged and normal carried out in a sufficient and professional manner. We tend to do something a tad different, raw and if you want another description - uninvited!
Backstage at the Albert Hall is a small catering room for the crew to feed their hungry stomachs and escape from the media for a few moments. It's where they can enjoy a fresh cooked meal without being bothered or hindered and have their own space. So, what an ideal opportunity to barge in, sit next to Roger Dalterly and have a quick chat!
Over his lunch Roger told us that he was deaf from the heavy metal night. He gave praise to The Scorpions although the volume level of Judas Priest didn't shake any bones for the Who front man The only body part it did rattle was hi eardrum. Roger told us that the reason he is behind the TCT.

I'm here 'because somebody has to do the job. Because I am well known it helps brings awareness and this is what this week is all about. Awareness. It's not about raising money we don't raise that much to tell you the truth. But it's bringing it to people's attention. Teenagers with cancer are overlooked and treated like shit. Something needs to be done and these units which are being built are amazing. Part of the battle with cancer is mentally. It's how you cope with it in your head as well as the treatment. The medicine is great but it can't do it all.'

His words are a lesson for anybody going through Cancer it is vital you stay on top of it.

Teenagers contract some of the most aggressive cancers that are made worse by their growth spurts.

SATURDAY - THE CURE

No, not the cure for Cancer! We are talking about the rock legends, Robert Smith and his band took to the stage for over three hours! Even though, despite trailing through their back catalogue and then some, they didn't play 'Lovecats'. This disappointment was subsided thanks to a rare performance. The band are returning to the UK later this year for a proper tour and if this was a taster of what the future show holds make sure you are a die-hard fan as the duration of the gig was a fair bit too long although punters couldn't complain about not having their money worth.
The evening was an interweaving tangled roller coaster gothic adventure ride with moments of wrist splitting numbers saved by more lighthearted foot tapping ones. Friday I'm In Love was the epiphany of the night and Roberts banter which broke up the music was a break itself from his miserable mundane numbers which seemed to crop up just a bit too often. If tonight had been cut to about two hours it would had been a memorable night as to a small marathon of classic numbers tucked away between songs which gave little inspiration to the crowd apart from those wearing the bands T-shirts and lack painted fingernails.

The week was amazing and 2007 events are already being planned. Lets just hope that one day there won't be a need for the Teenage Cancer Trust to exist. Until the cure is found people need more awareness that it effects everyone at any age and the incredible work from the TCT must continue.

Related Sites:

Teenage Cancer Trust
Ricky Gervais
Goldfrapp
Bloc Party
Razorlight
Judas Priest
The Cure