VIEW FROM THE PLATFORM:

T IN THE PARK 2010

PART TWO - SATURDAY

Published: 13th July 2010

The technical and correct Scottish term to describe today’s weather is 'Pish'. As the festival crowd woke to a reverse Karma climate change to last months baking Glastonbury those in the special needs campsite were probably counting their lucky crippled stars that the disabled platforms in the arena were sheltered by a marquee.

More water news drips from the two showers which catered for those with disabilities situated towards the campsite entrance. As the queue grew the marshals made the rightful decision that those only with disabilities should be given priority. This was met by the waiting dirty scumbags who started to list their unseen physical challenges such as 'epilepsy'. Once inside the washrooms the surfaces were muddy and in some cases slippery, maybe a mop should had been thrown in for good measure?

After a good fresh-up the music tried to brace sunshine pop smiles on the damp crowd with the help of Scouting For Girls. After doing our duties to God and the Queen, or whatever the Scout motto is nowadays, it was time to ride above these miserable whether conditions and set sail with Newton Faulkner who captained our ship and pleading his Scottish shipmates to re-enact being Pirates with rabies to accompany 'Gone In The Morning'.

Veterans to T, The Proclaimers took to the main stage bragging about how they would walk 500 miles, those who couldn't muster a few yards let alone nineteen marathons could catch the disabled shuttle bus to transport them around the site. The bus service itself was impressive, there were three coaches driving around the site in continued procession. The buses would wait outside the disabled campsite until the next bus arrived before moving on.

For those who travelled by foot or by bus to the Slam Tent hoping to catch Eminem make a surprise appearance with his band, D12 were in for a disappointment. Slim Shady never appeared until his headline slot over on the main stage although the Dirty Dozen played to a packed tent despite their last album, D12 being released over six years ago. The disabled platform was nested towards the rear of the marquee giving guests good accessible access.

Back over at the Main stage the New York lads whom we commonly refer to as 'Vampire Weekend' were still enjoying the success of their second album, Contra. The indie lads attracted a field-full of worshippers willing to sacrifice their opening weekend cinema tickets for 'that film which also involves Vampires' in place for a weekend of unbeatable live music which, in our eyes, easily eclipses an evening spent down our local multiplex cinema.

With Kelly Jones watching Paolo Nutini from side of stage it didn't take a genius to figure out that tracks such as 'Have A Nice Day', 'Maybe Tomorrow' and 'Daykota' were just around the corner. The 'Phonics also paid tribute to Stuart Cable, their bands original drummer who was found dead last month, by dedicating 'Same Sized Feet' to their late band mate. Ironic if you think about it, as if the stories are true it was Kelly's own foot that kicked Stuart out of the band in the first place!

Madness may have headlined the Radio 1/ NME stage, David Guetta the King Tut's Wah Wah Tent and oldskool classics from Ash sounded off the Red Bull Bedroom Future Stage but there's was only one act on today’s bill worth talking about - The return of Eminem.

You can read our separate article on Slim Shady's comeback, but as performances goes, we were disappointed. After his late appearance Mr. Mathers kick-started his return with 'Won't Back Down', a collaboration with Pink taken from his recent Recovery album. '3am' saw the light of day as far as the singles went and the hyped-up crowd of sheep happily tagged along when their sheperd of white rap attempted to renew his controversial tagline of yesteryear by asking the guys to grab their nuts and turn to the nearest woman and chant 'Fuck You Bitch'. Then, in response, the girls were asked to clench their breasts and retaliate by calling the guys 'arseholes'. With banter such as these the only real 'tit' on show was that of the rapper desperate to concrete his comeback on stage who was talking 'bollocks'.

When the real classics finally came in the forms of 'The Real Slim Shady', 'My Name Is' and 'Crack A Bottle' you couldn't help feeling there was something missing- Oh, that's it - the rest of the bloody lyrics as each track was cut short. Maybe the childish behaviour which now seems unnecessary compared to the likes of Jay Z shadowed the real showmanship of an artist who brought us the spectacular Anger Management tour back in 2003.

Of course, many would disagree with us, but surely Eminem could have awarded his patient audience with a more impressive comeback show than the one he gave today and to give his performance a technical and correct review we can revert back to the start of this very article. Eminem was 'Pish' no matter which part of Britain you may have come from.