SCOPE - The UK leading association for people who have Cerebral Palsy Back in the days SCOPE used to called 'The Spastic Society'. It wasn't until November 1994 when retards at the organisation finally decided to change the awful name. The reason being was that disabled people, especially in the school playgrounds, were being called names such as 'Spaz' & 'Spastic' by bullies. So, thanks to the new title disabled kids can now also be called names such as 'Scopey' & 'Scope Face'. Their early advertisement campaigns weren't exactly fantastic either. Take a look at these and try to keep a straight face!

Schizophrenia - Freaks who have this mental order can do pretty weird stuff. They hear voices which aren't even there, smell and feel things which don't exist and can become quite aggressive and violent. It actually effects 1 in 100 people and their invisible friends. You can't concentrate, feel that you are being controlled and have difficulty finishing a paper or TV programme. Little is known what actually causes the illness, but all 11 fingers point to brain damage, drug & alcohol abuse and stress. It used to be connected with family problems, but this isn't the case. 1 in 5 freaks will make a full recovery within the first five years, 3 in 5 mentalists will not fully recover and 1 in 5 loons will stay the same.

Scoliosis - The word originates from the Greek term, Skoliosis meaning 'crooked'. It's when the spine curves and looks like an 'S' or 'C' shape when X - Rayed. Normally started at birth it causes little discomfort at birth, although during adulthood the pain can really start to kick in. The most common type of Scolisos is called Idiopathic scoliosis, meaning that the cause is unknown. Even if you have this disability it shouldn't stop you living your life to the full from playing sports such as 'Curve 'Ball and watching Horror films which are Spine-Chilling!

Speech Impediment - A few months ago we asked ABLE2 readers with speech problems how they coped with their disability. Quite a few sent us replies. Unfortunately they were all on dictaphones and we can't understand a bloody word of what they said!

Spastic - See Retard

Spaz - See Spastic

Spina Bifida - There's 33 vertebrae in your spine, trust us - we copied the information off another website! If any of these are damaged during pregnancy the nerves in the spine could me in more trouble somebody turning up at a fancy dress party in Brixton sporting a Ku Klux Klan outfit! The mobility may be impaired, the bowels & bladder controls could be all over the place and in extreme circumstances you may be paralysed. Spotted a small dimple or hair growth on your back? Chances are you could have spina bifida occulta, but you can lay back and relax as you probably won't mutate into a cripple. Are there signs of a sac or cyst on your back? Well things could be a tiny bit more serious. Hopefully it will turn out to be Meningocele, meaning that the sac tissues are covering your spinal cord & cerebrospinal fluid, this will show little signs of disability. If the sac tissues also cover the nerves, then you can rule out that mountain bike you've been saving up for, because the chances are, the only set of wheels which you will be familiar with in the future are those which will be attached to a wheelchair!