Traveling
down to Brighton on Friday evening we were a tad concerned. Can you get
too much of a good thing? Are we going to spoil the highlight from the
first UK festival? Tonight Hard Fi are headlining a concert with support
from Boy Kill Boy and Graham Coxon, tomorrow they will be playing in a
big top in Winchester as part of the revamped Homelands festival, which
has had a huge makeover and been given the new label tag of 'Hi Fi' slapped
right across its face! Tonight we were told that Brighton was 'the best
fucking audience of the whole fucking tour' and Richard told us in such
a positive and loyal manner that we actually believed him! The 90 minute
set was spliffing marvelous and reminded us how the stars of CCTV really
shone last year with their debut album. After catching the band last Autumn
they have greatly improved their set and whilst a few seasons ago Richard
looked unsteady and under confident on stage as a lost unwanted puppy
in a Dog's home he is now as cocky and ruthless as a Pit Bull Terrier
attached to a kids arm! Although he is still a lovable 'geezer' drawing
similarities with that Mike Skinner, although adding a sense of tune behind
his outlook on everyday life. The band ended with 'Living For The Weekend'
ideal, on two accounts tonight. One being that it was Friday night and
two, that within 24 hours they would be performing at their first festival
- No wonder why they didn't make an appearance at the after show, we left
early as well one reason being that it was a paying bar, but the other
being that we had two days of hard-core partying and dancing to drain
out of our weak and shattered bodies - we are getting on a bit you know!
Rolling in at 2am and cursing the map of the British Isles - Brighton
looks so bloody near, but the lack of motorways adds another 40 minutes
on the journey we were pretty knackered. Not the best way to feel 12 hours
before a dance festival. Still, we managed to keep awake and the next
two days were good, very good!..
SATURDAY
Director,
Mark Eteson, Mark Knight, Jordan V and DJ Mosus, Janette Slack, Andy Warburton.
You are probably thinking who the hell this mish mash of unknowns are.
The connection is that they were all the first acts for the six stages
at the Hi Fi Festival. The stages we are banging on about are the Live
Arena, Godskitchen, Eletric Arena, Movement Drum & Bass, Air Breaks
Arena and the Hed Kandi VIP area. All six tents circled the Winchester
Bowl for both days alongside food stands, stalls selling legal highs (What's
the point when 'Dave' is offering you the proper stuff for a knockdown
price in the nearby arena?) and a fairground. Although the site seemed
slightly smaller then the Homelands festival there was enough to keep
the clubbers occupied and with the festival happening across the UK from
Newcastle to Ireland Hi Fi seems an extremely promising new venture.
Our main reports come from the Live Arena and after watching new arrivals,
Kharma 45 - which were pretty average it was the Go Team which was the
first band which we were familiar with. Despite the lead singer looking
as ugly as John Merrick after a fatal car accident and a right little
pre-Madonna, she whined on about a blow up doll hitting the stage (probably
because it looked more attractive!) their poppy gay numbers are quite
catchy. It's just her ('her' being 'Ninja') that we just find so blooming
annoying. She certainly has the girls on her side after slagging off the
lads because we didn't live up to her expectations when we declined to
chant 'G-G-Go-Go T-T-Team' at the top her voices to raise the roof. Looking
back we should had raised the roof allowing it to fall on top of her.
Still, there's always the next ten years when we see this band perform
at a mid-afternoon slot.
We are about to slag off the Welsh now, seriously it was a great festival
- but lets get the rubbish out of the way first. The Super Furry Animals
- they used to be average, but now even a desperate sheep would turn it's
'front' to them. If you were unfortunate to be born with a Welsh accent
surely you would make some kind of effort to sing. Apart from their familiar
hits, (both of them) they come across as a bunch of middle aged drop outs
who can't be arsed to lift a single finger. Their last song 'Don't Give
A Fuck' explains them all too well.
With the garbage put out to waste it was time for a treat, not just in
the live arena - but across the site itself. Mylo, Judge Jules, Scratch
Perverts and Pete Tong were playing over the next few hours and you couldn't
wish for a better lineup of DJ's. It wasn't just the music which made
the night. The tents looked like the inside of an Ibiza superclub without
the overpriced entrance fee and sadly, the blazing sunshine. Other acts
which weren't to be missed, well - that's a contradiction in itself, because
we did miss them, but you know what we mean - were Roni Size, Eric Prydz
and Fabio & Grooverider. The night belonged to one band though who
completely blew us away! In two nights in a row Hard-Fi gave us a treat
and were even better then the stint in Brighton. Look, if any of you are
going to V in August then do yourself a massive favor and don't miss them.
Apparently the Hi-fi crowd were 'the best fucking audience of the whole
fucking tour'. How amazing is that? - Who would had thought it.
After the live music died the likes of Fergie, James Zabiela, Jumping
Jack Frost & Ruffstuff and Plump DJ's kept the ravers from their tents
until 4am. The VIP area became packed with the media and clubbers willing
to pay extra cash to upgrade their tickets and with the knowledge that
we were only half way through the first Hi-fi Festival we had to recharge
our batteries ready for Day 2.
SUNDAY
Heard of
Crazy P? they have "More hooks than a club cloakroom” according
to The Guardian, Damn you upper class journalists - why can't we make
these clever little statements? Well, let's give it a go and see if we
can muster up some kind of literate masterpiece. Seeing as Crazy P has
been sorted and we arrived too late to catch 'Envelopes' There's five
more bands to cover allowing us five attempts to dream up something witty
and clever...
Brakes, not to be confused with Zane Lowe's band Brake Co-Up were pretty
blooming poor. This was tanks to the woman the lead singer brought on-stage.
She didn't have a clue what the hell was going on, didn't know how to
use a microphone - the fuzzy bit at the end is where you speak luv! And
in a way that was a bloody good job as we were right near the front and
could hear the droning miserable, depressing voice this woman had,. Was
she stoned? Was she human? Or was she just sleeping with a band member
as this is the only reason we can conclude why a useless, pathetic awful
singer, and we use that word extremely lightly, would be dragged up on
stage. To cap it all when the dim woman found the fundamentals of singing
into a microphone all too bewildering she stood back and gave such a retarded
grin you thought she had lost her way to the disabled platform - which
was situated at the back of the arena. The rest of the act without her
wasn't bad but, (here we go) 'This band won't be going anywhere fast!'
OK, that was crap. Let's try a tag-line for 'The Bees', the Isle Of
Wright isn't famous for many things apart from crumbling into the sea.
Because of it's small capacity any sign of life is bound to attract some
attention. So when 'The Bees' flew out of their hives they became 'a famous
band from the Isle Of Wright', but we can't see the appeal. We aren't
slagging them off - we will save that for Ian Brown, but they, ready for
this? 'Need more sting in their tails!'
Kosheen, great live band. Never fail to disappoint. You get all the hits,
very catchy numbers and a real crowd pleaser. 'More spins than a washing
machine!' - Sorry we are really scraping the barrel now!
The next band were the best by miles. Lemon Jelly makes every ounce of
worry you have disappear for an hour. They are fun, imaginative, original
and well, we can't think of any more descriptions, but do we really need
to? They rarely make appearances at main festivals and often opt for the
laid-back smaller ones, but luckily for us they turned up at Hi-fi Their
mainstream hit, 'Nice Weather For Ducks' gave us all a chance to have
a ruddy good singsong and deafen out all the other DJ's for a good five
minutes or so. 'Lemon Jelly - always a good set!'
And so we come to the last act, the guy who has somehow become a 'legend'
and we still can't figure out why. Ian Brown is an arrogant and pompous
scumbag. He complained about the After Shock balls being thrown around
the arena and ordered the security to pop them and then gave another second
rate boring set. We would love to know what we are missing out on, but
as far as we are concerned Ian Brown would be nowhere without the Stone
Roses and he 'should be sent back to prison for his criminal records'
The night didn't of course stop after Ian Brown as Sasha, Carl Cox, 2
many DJ's carried the party going and with earlier sets from John Digweed,
Paul Oakenfold, Steve Lawler and a near never-ending list of loads more
powerful and sensational DJ's Hi-fi was a complete success. The festival
season has well and truly started for 2006 and we are ready for some great
and fulfilled weekends.
