Whilst Jo Public
prepares for a night out at their local bar chain, be it a Weatherspoon,
Yates' bar or the nearest Walkabout Inn the celebrity has other haunts
to choose from. London members clubs are for those who are either in the
public eye or in the know. Places such as The Met Bar, Groucho Club and
Soho House are often seen within the pages of heat magazine with a drunken
celebrity falling out the front door. Another celebrity venue is Tramps,
one of the most established bars of its specialized kind the bar is situated
in Jeermyn Street near Piccadilly. Tucked away from the other array of
members clubs Tramps has very little competition. Although this is going
to change thanks to Entrepreneur, Dave West when his new bar, Hey Jo opens
to the public next month.
Last weekend Dave invited his friends to a special preview night and,
of course, ABLE2UK was on top of the guest list. Dave's trademark of a
bright pink suit welcomed us at the door, his other trademark is his personalized
number plate, which just so happens to be attached to his black Rolls
Royce which was conveniently parked at the back of the club.
Abracadabra is the restaurant and tonight the hard working chef was cooking
Pizzas for over five hours for the guests, which included 80's band Imagination
and Big Brother's Mel. There was also a sighting of Miss Whiplash who
would had been very much at home in the sunken area at the front where
a girl was tied up on a table and snapped by a pletra of cameras and mobile
phones nested in the hands of perverts. Private booths around the room
were still being decorated ready for future guests to part with expensive
ranging from £1,000 up to £10,000. Each one has its own sexual
theme and names which include Romance, Sex, Courting, Burlesque and
Masquerade. Dave also has his own Private Booth. Once the completion
has been made a high profile launch party has been promised. Tonight though
the booths had small canapés for those wishing to wash down the
free drinks which were available until 3am. Luckily the elegant marble
floor was left untouched and everybody behaved themselves, well, nearly
everyone..
You see on our invites, which were of course bright pink, the top right
corner has the message 'WARNING: Toilets may lead to Sexual Frustration'.
Although on our first visit to the Gents we were a 'wee' bit disappointed.
The only thing which was the remotely sexual was the urinals were crafted
as red lips and further more we had already seen one on display in the
club which had been turned into a drinking fountain. So we asked Dave
what all the fuss was about.
'Ah' the pink frantic said, 'But, have you seen the ladies toilets?'
We were then taken into the ladies loo by a waitress. Guys, this could
be the first report you have read by a bloke who ventured into a women's
bathroom. There were five cubicles around the room and there was your
editor standing, with a beer in his hand looking and feeling very out
of place. Being told that the inside of the cubicles were a little 'different'
the wait for a lady to emerge from a cubicle took an uncomfortable wait.
Especially when they opened the door and saw a bloke staring inside! A
door opened and we saw the interior artistic talents of an Alice In Wonderland
theme lavatory and thanked the waitress very much.
'Oh', she said 'That isn't it, each cubicle is different you must wait
to see each one!'
Feeling as perverted as Jamie Theakson in a brothel or Kevin Spacey 'taking
his dog for a walk' we waited for each cubicle to be free. During our
ten minutes, yes ten bloody minutes, this reporter saw each cubicle in
turn. If you are hoping for a description then unfortunately you will
leave this page disappointed as the truth is, standing in a women's loo
tends to erase most memories you had. We do recall one toilet as an egg
which you have to hatch before using.
Back with mixed genders the Hey Jo club is very colorful and rich as situated
towards the back is a collection of Louis Reeded Cristals, in fact the
world largest collection! Underneath the glass dancefloor is a huge video
screen, apparently Dave wanted a swimming pool but those pesky Health
and Safety fools put a stop to that.
The question is, can this club keep its head above water in the cut throat
business. A large amount of money has been spent, £4 million already
and only time will tell. What is certain is that it's a very unique venue
and where else could a Page three model nest her arse in Wonderland?