Handicapped - We absolutely hate this word. The most degrading description of a person with a disability. The term came from Yankee land and means Hand - in - Cap. In other words, to beg. Don't ever use it and if you hear somebody using it - Punch them in the face from us. You have our permission.

Hearing Impairments - See deafness.

Hepatitis - 'Oh oh your in trouble', as a song by Shampoo use to begin way back in 1995. Hepatitis basically means that your liver has become inflamed and there's three common different types, A, B and have a guess what the third one is called? Yep, that's right you clever little spazz - it's C. Hepatitis A can be caught by dirty food and even more unpleasant, water with turds in. The kind of thing you will see on Comic Relief night when those interfering documentaries from Africa mess up half decent comedy sketches. Hepatitis B can be picked up by unprotected sex, dirty needles and contaminated blood which is why you can pick up leaflets warning you about the illness in most gay bars! Hepatitis C is also spread by contained blood products, infected needles and shaking hands - only kidding about the hand shaking! There's four more contaminated unknown types, D, E - oh you get the picture. If you pick up types A or E then count yourself lucky as they only cause acute infections. Got B & C - Start thinking about making out a will as sadly the infection won't go away, but luckily vaccinations are available for Hepatitis A & B. Hopefully with a clean needle or that would be a bit ironic wouldn't it? You can only be infected by Hepatitis D if you have Hepatitis B - a bit like a buy one get one free offer.

HIV / AIDS - Who's been a silly boy then and forgot to put a condom on his willy? Back in the 80's we started to hear about the gay plague AIDS and leaflets were stuffed through are doors scaring the hell out of us. It's not just the gays who can pick this up, everyone can! Called the Human Immunodeficiency Virus it attacks the immune system by killing cells called CD4. These handy little buggers help fight infections so when the HIV attacks them they are as much use a handicapped, sorry 'disabled' person on sports day. Even though the CD4 cells are destroyed the body will attempt to produce sparkling brand new ones alas after a while the body will give up and the cells will disappear. This now means that the infector can easily pick up other diseases such as cancer. The latter stage of HIV is AIDS. Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome is when the immune system packs up all together and it's time to go and be measured up for a coffin. The good news is that people with HIV can lead fairly normal lives thanks to prescribed drugs. You can also pick up the disease through infected blood in th.... .WHACK! ( Writer has just been punched in the face for using the 'H*ndicapped word' in this paragraph!)

Hypoglycemia - See Diabetes